i rejected and said no to prom with him. last night was prom and i just wanna find out what happened and who was his date for last night. and i don't know why. it's not that i like him or whatever. and i didn't go for prom. had i gone and said yes, i'd be the like, the 3rd person from my year to go. haha.

parents going for hajj tomorrow. langkawi in a few days. and sara's going to get me the hullabaloo dvd in london. i can't fucking wait!

it sucks when you're depressed and feel like no one to go to. it sucks when people say stuff that mean so little to them, but it means a lot and affects you. it sucks when you're so confused and it's such a stupid thing to be confused over.

it sucks to be under appreciated. i just want to curl up and cry right now. 

Muse's concert was better. Hands down. I'm sorry.

Maybe it was because I expected too much out of them. Maybe I've just seen better. Maybe because it was raining. Maybe it was the songs. Maybe it was the crowd. I don't know what it was but I'm not impressed. I didn't regret going, oh no I didn't. I was happy I went because I had fun. It was quite good.

Anyway, I liked the fact that it was drizzling. It made the night a lot better. It was cooler and with the lights, it looked like it was snowing for some reason. One Buck Short and Popshuvit came on before MCR did, since they were opening acts. Popshuvit were good despite being a local band. I'd buy their record. And I was wet. All of us were wet. I looked like I came out of the shower, well all of us did. I'm not posting my picture because I looked horrendous. Seriously.

The highlights of the concert was when Ray did his Torosolo or something. Also, when Gerard did the Chicken Dance. Seriously awesome. I was busy jumping and getting myself hurt, so I got a teensy bit of pictures and a horrible pain in the neck today. courtesy of the unnecessary headbangings that I did. Thank god I do my runs and my whole body doesn't hurt. Specifically my legs.

I brought you pictures! Like, 3. I think I took tons of videos. And the whole of Black Parade. Wait, no. That was Joshua. He wasn't jumping, so I got him to take it for me. Kim was not a ~awesome jumper~ like me. But she was my companion for the night and she knew ALL of their songs (Even Desert Song, which I didn't approve of), so Kim's cool, and loved. <3

OH RANT - OMFG THEY ONLY PLAYED TONS OF SONGS FROM TBP RAWR. I WANTED MORE FROM THREE CHEERS. WHEN THEY PLAYED SONGS OFF THREE CHEERS, I SRSLY WENT MAD. IDC IF THE TOUR'S CALLED TBP. W/E W/E W/E. THREE CHEERS ROCK OKAY. THEY DIDNT EVEN PLAY GHOST OF YOU. OMG THE SONGS FROM 3 CHEERS THAT THEY PLAYED WERE ONLY HELENA, GIVE 'EM HELL KID, AND CEMETERY DRIVE. LIKE SRSLY WTF?! I WANTED ITS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT, THAT GUYS LIKE US IN PRISON SONG AND THE JETSET LIFE. >=[

their "setlist" from junkonline. >=[ i srsly had to go all "KIM WHATS THE SONG NAME AGAIN?! I FORGOT" when it wasn't from three cheers. RAWRRR.

1. DISAPPEAR

2. DEAD

3. I’M NOT OK (I PROMISE)

4. GIVE EM’ HELL, KID

5. SHARPEST

6. MAMA

7. CEMETRY DRIVE

8. WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

9. I DON’T LOVE YOU

10. HOUSE OF WOLVES

11. PRISON

12. HELENA

13. TEENAGERS

14. SLEEP

15. CANCER

16. DESERT

17. FAMOUS LAST WORDS

but whatever it is, I went, had a blast so appreciate!

best week ever. concert's tonight. throat's fine but i've got a cold. but screw that. :)

MCR is tomorrow and i now have a horrible sore throat.

:( WHAI.

p/s - this week went by fucking fast. urgh. i don't want it to be friday/saturday. my cousins/aunt's leaving on saturday :((((

i'm sick lol. ahaha. maybe because i didn't get much sleep last night. i only slept for like, 5/6 hours. and my body's funny. i can't seem to eat as much cause i'll have troubles breathing (but's it's just anxiety?) and my body tempreature has been going up and down like a roller coaster. BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO THIS WEEK. URGH.

one of my cousins (i have millions of them, srsly) who's quite old passed away today. :( we went for her funeral and it's suprisingly odd since my mum randomly went "someone's going to die tomorrow" last night, thinking it was my dad's friend's daughter, who's in the hospital, suffering from cancer of the eyeball. i went to see her today, and oh god.. she has a dead left eye that's totally red and she found a new tumour in her mouth, which is said to be moving down. and she can't even eat since she can't swallow.

anyway, I FINALLY GOT THE CALL. only, i wasn't asked to do the radio stunt since Ean isn't hosting the show alone now. i'm suppose to pick it up on the day itself, and in order to beat the traffic, i have to leave the house at 3, then drive all the way to Bukit Jalil, pick Kim up, and THEN only do i arrive at Stadium Merdeka, where the concert will be held. and i have to probably wait for another two hours since they have to set everything up and there are two opening acts before MCR. :( but whatever, i still get to see them! though i didn't get the most expensive tickets, i did get second best. the "yellow zone", the one priced at rm200+. eh, kinda okay i reckon. better than none at all eh?

first off, i loathe having someone in a bad mood around me because you know what? they fucking bring you down. it's like, all of their negative energy gets transfered and it's like, infectious or something. especially if you're the one that gets poked at and shouted at for no fucking reason. thanks a lot mum, for ruining my day with all your scolding. seriously. i need to go to boarding school.

i guess my day isn't so bad. my aunt and cousins arrived today and they're staying until friday. WHICH IS FUCKING A+ because that means i go out daily and ~entertainment. and omg all the interesting gossip that i have to keep my ears open for! SWEET. other than that, my mum won't be such a scoldingcrankyrobot so i'm cool with that. i mean, seriously, HOW AM I TO KNOW NOT TO PUT MY BAD ON THE CHAIR? CAUSE WELL, YOU FUCKING DO IT AND IT'S ALRIGHT. seriously. the world is fucking unfair.

anyway, my heart is beating like fucking fast. ean said that someone's gonna call me and i think i have to do that radio stunt again. whereas i have to act like i've supposedly ~won tickets to some gig and scream like the other day. it's great fun and i feel like a bitch when i do it. because it's suppose to be a ~lucky thing for someone who calls the radio station when they hear the "que(sp?) to call" to win the said tickets. but for me, ean calls me up cause i told him i wanted tickets lol. i feel so bad but i'm desperate. and i'm not sporking out rm300+ for tickets to MCR's. i don't have that much money and there's NO WAI that my parents will give me the money. seriously.

OKAY SERIOUSLY, WHY HASN'T THE SOMEONE CALLED ME?! GETTING ME ALL NERVOUS. AHHHHHHHHHHHH.

also, appleseed cast is srsly so fucking good. how can i have NOT heard of them before? and how can they not be like, the IT band to listen to or something?

seriously guys, tell me they're awesome by listening to this - http://www.zshare.net/audio/5341343724ce37/


going to grand's for dinner now. all the gossip yayyyyyyyyyy.

fuck it. my grandma had to call that faggot there and i left early. THANK GOD. that stupid guy. urgh. he's such a fucking ass. creating stories about everyone else. sucking up others' ass. for fuck's sake, get a fucking life and stop creating stories just to be ~liked.

I'm feeling so fragile right now. I'm in need of tears and a reason to be tearful. Feels like hatred and ignorance surrounds me for what I've been. Like everyone doesn't like everything. I'm in desperation of a reason that a band's decision will possibly bring me to tears.

Hormones, you motherfucking suck.

went to the halloween party at the abandoned house last night with yana, who was my companion for the night. it was a good party. i went as a witch and was actually pretty early to the party. anyways, it started off empty but then evolved into one hell of a party with people dancing (finally) everywhere. and somewhere in between some bloke with a fake afro hair thought it was funny to come up and attempt to kiss me before getting pushed away and told 'it's not funny'. hmm. i'm reconsidering that doing right now. i wonder what would have happened had i just gone with it and just given whoever that was a kiss on the cheek then act like nothing happened. surely, he wouldn't expect that.

other than that, i still don't feel comfortable dancing with boys. i dont know if it was because iskandar so happened to be nik's (who's a good friend of mine) ex, though they're still friends and act as if they never had a relationship. or, do i just seriously feel scared getting and doing things that friends don't do. with guys, especially? then again, i can kiss my friends and stuff on the cheek, but can never do so with guy friends. i can't even dance with a lad without feeling like a slut. well, last night proved that. maybe i'm just thinking too much?

also, i think i just got asked out the other day. =/

we had a farewell party for the form five prefects today. and dharmaraj, our head boy CRIED. it was a fun party. i got ice in my shirt and also bits of cake on it. that's pretty okay since some (like dharma) had cake on his face and hair, ice down his back and also, he got sprayed also, some slipped and fell.

i'm finally sleepy after not sleeping properly for days. i think that has affected my health and eating habit since all i wanna do is eat now a days, but i can't though, because it's like, unless my stomach isn't empty or almost empty, i can't seem to breathe. though, i'm not complaining. it's a way to lose weight.

i'm craving indian food. a trip to bombay palace is needed because it's indian food haven.

it's kist aka arvious also aka bakaflies . lj hates me so i'm using this new account. so don't be scared if i've added you and stuff.

cheers. :D